Believe it or not, money matters can be opportunities for a husband and wife to understand each other better, work together more closely, and strengthen their unity. But does it have to be that way? No, money matters don't have to have a negative effect on marriage they can have a positive effect. Money can indeed become a wedge that drives husband and wife apart, and it can happen many different ways. They may keep going in a marriage where money matters more than love, or one of them may eventually decide to dump their spouse for someone more exciting. The delight they once had in each other when they were younger and poorer is now gone. Now they care more about wealth and status than about their relationship. The problem is that they've changed over the years. James and Nancy don't argue much over money they can afford the things they want. Meanwhile, Nancy gets caught up in getting the grandest house, the fanciest furniture, the finest clothes, and the most elite, expensive music and sports programs for their children. James works more hours and gets wrapped up in his success. After a few years, money is no longer in short supply. They manage their limited funds carefully and are able to make ends meet. They can't afford much, but they don't mind. James and Nancy get married and don't have much money their first few years. Sometimes money can become a wedge even when there's not much bickering. When the spouse finds out, there's an explosion, and trust is blown away. If the spender is dominant, that person may run up big bills without letting the partner know what's going on. If the miser is dominant and is a control freak about every penny, the other partner feels deprived and despised. In some cases, only one marriage partner likes to spend, while the other is extremely tight with money. Not all arguments over money involve two big spenders. He thinks he's far wiser with money than she is, and his wish list is indeed shorter than hers, but the price tag is a lot higher. David buys a shiny new car that is fancier than he needs and costs twice as much as he can afford, or he purchases a new boat without Amy's agreement. Oh, but when he does, watch out! It costs more than all his wife's purchases put together. How can she be so stupid again and again? David doesn't go on a spending binge every week or two like Amy does, and he's proud of it. David yells at his wife, Amy, when she comes home from the store after another shopping spree with more clothes and shoes she doesn't need. In some cases both partners are big spenders and think their own spending is okay while their spouse's spending is awful. Money can become a wedge that drives people further and further apart. Married couples argue more over money than almost any other subject. The divorce was expensive and made their financial problems even worse, but at least they were rid of each other. Finally they gave up on each other and decided that the only way to stop fighting was to go their separate ways. Each was eager to point out what was wrong with the other's financial decisions, but neither changed their behavior much. Whenever one of them spent money on something, the other would complain, and they'd have a nasty argument. They kept adding to their debts through more spending, and interest charges made their debts grow even faster. The bills kept piling up, and after awhile they couldn't meet expenses. Tom and Jenny's lavish living was purchased through payment plans and credit cards. They moved into a beautiful home that was the envy of their friends.īut there was a problem. Their vacations during the first few years of the marriage were fabulous, sparing no expense. Several times a week they enjoyed eating in first-rate restaurants. Their giant-screen TV and sound system were top-of-the line. Tom drove a flashy SUV, and Jenny always looked stylish in the latest fashions. At their wedding, they vowed to stay together "till death do us part," but it turned out to be "till debt do us part." Tom and Jenny got so far into debt and argued so much about money that they couldn't stand being together any more.Īt the time they were married, they were impressed with each other. Tom and Jenny's marriage fell apart over money. The house of the righteous contains great treasures, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble (Proverbs 15:6).
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